If you sat back and asked yourself what the lowest point of your life was, we bet it wouldn’t be as deep and painful as that of Ms. Loice Atuhaire. At 24, Loice is now working as a secretary in Pastoral Women Alliance to Break Cultural chains (PAWAB), an organisation she thanks God for helping her break free from cultural practices that tore her emotionally and mentally. We found her in Kiboga district while carrying out a training of trainers (T.O.T) workshop for Civil Society Organisations in Action for Strengthening Good Governance and Accountability, and this is what she had to say.
“To me, culture makes you do certain inhuman things that can destroy and shutter your life.” she started. “It all begun when my father plotted for me to marry one of the herd’s men in Rwamata sub-county, my home village not so far from Kiboga district, without my notice, love and consent. I was 16 years old by then, endeavouring to complete my senior three (S.3) in Rwamata Secondary School.” Lace stopped, fighting back the tears as she recalled the fateful night that was supposed to be her wedding. “On that day, at around 7:00 pm my mother came to me holding a few of my belongings wrapped together in a small bed sheet. She told me to quickly clean up myself; claiming that I was going to stay with different people. I didn’t have anytime to take a proper bath since my father was outside hurriedly waiting for me on his fading bicycle.
“At that point, I knew I had been sold off to a certain man because this was culturally accepted norm of marriage in our pastoral community. I just kept praying to God that the man I was going to get married to wouldn’t be some old person with more that one wife but however my prayers fell onto deaf ears because where I was going was much worse than some old person. To date, I still regret why I didn’t try to escape that night because my own parents had sold me to the worst cruel and ruthless family you could ever imagine.
“The journey to the Rwabushogeyo’s place took about 3 hours. I was in tears all the way, scared to death since my father had warned to slay my head off if I dared to escape. “You should be happy since this family chose you instead of the other girls. Now clean your tears before I pound your face to ashes.” He said to me as we got nearer to the Rwabushogeyo’s place.
As it normally is, they welcomed me with wide open arms and gave us each a pot of milk. As soon as my father went back home, my mother-in-law told her son Rwabushogeyo to take me to his elder brother’s hut since he didn’t have one of his own. Rwabushogeyo might have been two or three years older than me but I tell you, he had the strength like that of a lion. He started off by whipping my tender body with a rope; asking why I was crying like a baby yet they gave off so many cows as bride price before forcefully engaging me into unprotected sex. I felt dirty and unworthy like never before. From then on, I was simultaneously bounced from my husband to his brothers and also to their elderly father.
Since I was the newest entry to this homestead, they felt they had a right to do whatever they wanted to me. Be it sex, beating, trashing... name it.” She stopped to clean her tears. Loice went on to tell us that in Rwamata village, sex is termed as a cup of tea. “Before tearing my dress off, my father in law would say words as, ‘Ninyenda ndebe ente zange ahi zagyire.’ Roughly translated as “i want to see what my bride price bought.”
“I didn’t get time to rest because; I was always used by whoever wanted to have sex, beaten because i would not perform wifely duties to their expectations. Day by day, I’d be seated in the hut praying but nothing happened. Instead as an answer, any one of Rwabushogeyo’s brothers would enter asking to find out where their cows went”.
It was after one year of misery when Loice decided to escape with the help of a friend who stays in Kiboga town. She pretended as though she was going to fetch some water from the nearby pond and to this day she thanks God for that day because by his grace, she managed to break free from the kind of life she was living. “I tell you, i ran as fast as i could; not wanting to face any of the members of that family once again. As soon as i reached Kiboga Town, I knelt down before my God and friend and gave thanks to the lord who finally answered me.” After two week of settling down, Loice discovered that she was expecting though she can’t trace who the father of the baby is. She later joined (PAWAB), a group that has since showed her love, care and became a source of income to look after her child who is in primary six right now. “I will forever dislike my ex-husband and in-laws because the only love they ever given me was canes, physical abuse, cuts and brutal sex” says Loice.
Now six years down the road, Loice together with her 6 year old girl appear healthy and rich at heart. “One thing am sure of is that I will do what ever it is to protect my little girl from any brutality awaiting custom.” She also adds that she plans on starting her own business to support them and later go for further studies to improve on her career.
For further information or assistance, you can contact Loice on Tel: 0751583656
Submitted by Jean Muhumuza
Member - ACFODE
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